I'm almost afraid to be writing this, because then I might actually have to do something about it. Just being honest. But in my heart, I can sense that God's calling me to much more than I've ever believed for myself. At our young adult gathering at church tonight, some of the words from the Delirious song Rain Down really hit me. As many times as I've sung that song, I don't think I've ever really paid attention to some of the words. They have to do with dreaming. Here's the second verse:
Back to the start, my heart is heavy
Feels like it's time to dream again
I see the clouds, and yes, I'm ready
To dance upon this barren land
Hope in my hands
I feel like I have a lot of dreams for what I'd like my life to look like, things I'd like to do, but they're just that - dreams. I've never allowed myself to believe that they will actually happen. Why? Largely because of fear. They seem too impossible, unattainable. And because sometimes I just feel unworthy of those dreams ever coming true. But I'm starting to see that God has so much more for my life than the little I expect for myself.
He's calling me to unlock the treasure box and revive those dreams. And to dance upon the barren land? Really??? Barren land does not conjure up good thoughts in my mind or warm, fuzzy feelings in my heart. All I think of is dry, dusty nothingness, empty and alone. Very alone. But I don't think God sees any barren lands in me. He sees the fruition of all my dreams. And though I don't see the path to get through, He's calling me to dance on the lands that I see as barren. And not just to dance, but to dance with hope and in faith, knowing that, "He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24
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